The Problem with Skyrim’s Marriage System
Skyrim is the first Elder Scrolls title that lets the player marry an NPC in the vanilla game, and while that’s a nice little thing to have, it has one big flaw that just completely destroys the entire system.
If you were to really dive into it, Skyrim’s marriage system has a multitude of flaws, most of them having to do with the radiant skeleton it’s built on. But there is one other noticeable flaw that just does not work, and that’s the motivations of the available suitors. Yes, the random questing requirement tied to an NPCs disposition really mucks up a lot of the good intentions here. The available NPC suitors will either have no reason, or the worst reason to marry the player. At the very end, I want to take a look at the one example Bethesda put in the game where this is handled correctly, but we’re gonna have to cover a lot of ground before we get to that point, starting with the male suitors.
Let’s start off with the NPCs that operate by a principle I like to call “I’m the boss, so you’re my bitch”. Basically, all these NPCs just want to marry you because you’re their boss. Valdimar, Gregor, Calder and Argis the Bulwark are all Housecarls, you’ve never even met them before you purchase the house they come with, and they’re already prepared to marry you, that’s stupid. Sellswords apparently have the same low standards, as they’re willing to marry after you’ve hired them just once. Belrand, Marcurio, Stenvar and Vorstag belong to this group. The most ridiculous group here are the NPCs that just want to marry you because you’re the head of their faction, you also don’t even need to have met them previously. NPCs included in this group are Athis, Farkas, Torvar and Vilkas from the Companions and Onmund from the College of Winterhold. If you’ve been keeping track, that means that 13 of the total 36 male candidates fall under “I’m the boss, so you’re my bitch principle.” Oh boy.
Now we’re gonna move to the marriage candidates that are just tied to a single “quest”. Starting with the boys who you might beat up: Benor and Cosnach. If you challenge them to a brawl and beat them up, they’re yours! That’s ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as Angrenor Once-Honored, who will marry you after you give him a single gold coin. Ghorbash the Iron Hand isn’t much better, he’ll basically marry you if you can convince him to become a follower, which just amounts to either a persuasion check, a bribe or yet another brawl. I’m also not sure how happy Ghorbash would be marrying a non-Orc from somewhere, but that’s a whole other discussion. I suppose Derkeethus is also an easy pick to ridicule. Yes, you do save his life, but since he doesn’t have any unique dialogue otherwise, he doesn’t even have a character which the player can fall in love with. In the same settlement you’ll find Sondas Drenim, he’ll marry you after you deliver a note for him. You don’t even need to return to him in order to report it, his gut feeling just tells him you’re now a suitable partner.
For some reason, there are also five people that will become your partner after clearing a particular mine. Pavo Attius and Gat gro-Shargakh will both become available after you clear Kolskeggr mine from the Forsworn. Now yes, you’ve given both these men their jobs and home back, but neither really shows any interest in marriage, or abandoning the other. The same thing goes for the miner Perth at Soljund’s Sinkhole who becomes a potential partner after you kill the Draugr in the mine, and Filnjar at Shor’s Stone after you clear the local mine of spiders. The fifth man, Ainethach, is definitely one of the weirdest male candidates. He will become an option after you remove the mercenaries from Sanuarach mine, which he owns. Ainethach actually owns the whole town of Karthwasten, where he resides. Of course, none of this matters since Ainethach just has the same generic marriage dialogue as all the other candidates, but the strangest thing here is that he doesn’t only own land, but he also has two children that live in Markarth. Bethesda could’ve done something interesting with this, but sadly it can’t even be brought up. This isn’t even the only time Bethesda makes the player a stepparent or stepchild without even adressing it.
Wilhelm, the innkeeper at Ivarstead, has a very similar request to clearing the mines. He just wants you to clear a local dungeon. Yes, he does have a personal stake in it, but it doesn’t really connect to him being romantically interested in you. Then we have Scouts-Many-Marshes, Omluag and Octieve San. They have the same basic quest connected to their marriage requirement, where the player just has to talk to someone and report back to them. The first two are laborers with busy lives and Octieve is a retired drunk, who also has a daughter. Of the three, marrying him makes the most sense I suppose, but once again it’s just not interesting in any sense. We only have 8 candidates left, and the most interesting ones we’ve had so far were a landowner, a drunkard and a literal beggar. The future’s not looking bright.
Next up are three blacksmiths: Balimund, Moth gro-Bagol, and the only Dragonborn DLC candidate that’s male: Halbarn Iron-Fur. They just have simple fetch quests related to their marriage conditions, nothing special. Then there are two Dunmer males, Romlyn Dreth and Revyn Sadri, that basically want the player to get rid of stolen goods. Although Romlyn actually is a criminal, Revyn only accidently purchased stolen goods. They’re basically a good and evil karma side of the same coin, though this time I can almost understand the quest being linked to them wanting to marry you, although neither ever expresses any desire to do so. Then there’s also Quintus Navale. He only becomes available after completion of The White Phial, which is probably the most in-depth quest I’ve mentioned so far. Only sucks that Quintus is just as deep as most of the other characters I’ve gone over, that’s to say, pretty one-dimensional.
Our second-to-last option is Roggi Knot-Beard. Roggi is actually an interesting character. He’s a Nord with a real talent for mead that has a rich family history as a miner as well. He’s well-liked in his hometown of Kynesgrove and has the kind of jovial personality that would be appreciated in marriage. He also has two quests that kinda justify his involvement with you, as you can either return a family heirloom shield to him, or help him clear a debt which his pride is preventing. Of course, doing both is also an option, and this makes him the most logical NPC to actually be willing to marry you. Or at least, he would be, if not for one small detail. During a conversation, local man Kjeld may ask Roggi when he’s gonna find himself a woman to which he replies: “I’m not gonna anytime soon.”
Besides practically confirming his sexuality, Bethesda inadvertently also confirmed that he isn’t looking for marriage. You can call that “looking too much into things”, I call it “Bethesda writing withouth thinking of the consequences”.
And speaking of, there’s the last male candidate: Sorex Vinius. Sorex will be an option for you after you’ve delivered a case of wine to Falk Firebeard at the Blue Palace. While this in itself is pretty dumb, it only gets worse, as a big part of Sorex’s backstory actually revolves around his difficult love for a childhood friend, Vivienne Onis. When spoken to at Roggvir’s execution, he will mention this:
“Roggvir and I grew up together. It was us, a few others and Vivienne. Vivienne Onis. I have no idea why, but one day, I told Roggvir I liked her. It was a stupid thing to do… He mocked me incessantly after that. From that point forward, every time Vivienne and I were anywhere close to each other, he made sure to humiliate me. He’d beat me up, dump mead on my head, anything he could get away with. Once he even slipped a beehive into my bed. We were children, sure. But Roggvir never outgrew that immaturity, or his cruelty.”
When Sorex is shopping at the marketplace, he can also be heard purchasing a bottle for Vivienne, and the vendor implies it isn’t his first time doing so. In the game’s files, Sorex and Vivienne are even marked as courting! Simply said, marrying Sorex makes absolutely zero sense with his established character. And if you thought that wouldn’t be the case for the female options, then just you wait…
We can already scrap Aela the Huntress, Njada Stonearm and Ria as they once again just become available without any good reason besides the player becoming the Harbinger of the Companions. Iona, Jordis the Sword-Maiden, Lydia and Rayya are also out, as they’re the standard Housecarl affair once more. Brelyna Maryon is arguably the worst example of this behavior, as she’s a supposed child prodigy that mainly focuses on her magical studies, but I’m supposed to believe she just instantly falls in love with her Arch-Mage? Yeah right. And that’s 8 of the 30 available female spouses going by the boss’ bitch principle as well, how quaint. There’s also one hireling that can be wed after just one simple payment, and that’s Jenassa. Then, of course, Uthgerd the Unbroken, who you have to beat in a fistfight. And Borgakh the Steel Heart who’s basically just a female version of Ghorbash the Iron Hand, as you just have to convince her to become a follower, but marrying her is more ridiculous, as most of her dialogue revolves about how she’s being married to another Orc chieftain, in order to aid her stronghold. They could’ve done something with this, but they didn’t. Big wasted opportunity.
Then there are also three women that want to marry you once you’ve just sold them a bit of firewood, those being Aeri, Gilfre, and Temba Wide-Arm. Out of those three, Gilfre is the most ridiculous as she doesn’t have any character to speak of, and she’s the only marriage candidate, both male and female, that has a default face. Speaking of ridiculousness, after completing the Heart of Dibella, you can marry the three generic priestesses: Anwen, Senna and Orla, none of which really have any character. Senna at least has one flirty line towards the player, but seeing as she’s a priestess of the godess of sex and love in a fantasy game, that doesn’t come as a surprise. Then there are of course a lot of NPCs that just want you to bring something to them: Avrusa Sarethi, Dravynea the Stoneweaver, Shahvee, Ghorza gra-Bagol and Ysolda all fall under this distinction. And of course, none of these women show any interest in romance beforehand. Or at least not any romance with the player. Shahvee is the most believable person, because the player retrieved something of emotional value and she’s a good-natured person, but her work and dedication to her friends kinda flies in the face of her just running away in the name of romance. I also know that Ysolda is a fan-favorite character to marry, people apparently forgetting that she’s already interested in Mikael, not to forget that they are actually marked as boyfriend and girlfriend in the Creation Kit. Mjoll the Lioness falls under this category as well, since you have to retrieve something for her too, but this time it’s less of a generic fetch quest, so I have to give credit where credit is due. The Grimsever retrieval is a nice setup, although Mjoll doesn’t seem to be the person to just get married while she’s mixed up in all of Riften’s problems. Mjoll is also a fan favorite, a lot of people seemingly forgetting that she’s supposed to be of middle age. Or they know and don’t care, in which case I won’t judge.
And now for the reverse fetch quest, the delivery quest. Morwen and Sylgja fall under this category, and while both have some wholesome moments, they once again don’t lead lifestyles that are all too marriage-friendly. Then there’s also probably one of the most baffling inclusions in all of this: Camilla Valerius. Her inclusion is stupid because there’s a whole quest about how she’s involved in a love triangle, and a lot of dialogue is associated with this as well. The player can actively help her get in a relationship, which she might reward by entering a relationship with the player. Marvelous. Of course, this can all play out even if the player already married her after completing The Golden Claw. Too bad, as with greetings like “I just want to find a good husband, and start a family of my own.” she’s a real exception in that Bethesda set her up to at least be looking for romance. So please, dear developers, don’t make someone a marriage candidate if they’re already involved with other people and then never adress it, that’s just stupid.
On that note, Viola Giordano. She can be married if the player completes the aforementioned Revyn Sadri’s quest in her favor. Problem? Basically 75% of her character is that she’s in love with captain Lonely-Gale, who in a shocking turn of events, actually rejects her advances. Then we also have another really weird choice of candidate in Taarie, who’s the only suitor that you can unlock by investing in their store, which is something that can only be done by an optional perk from the Speech skill tree… very odd. But still, Taarie is just way too haughty to be associated with you.
And now, I’ve literally saved the best for last. Objectively the most interesting marriage candidate: Muiri. Muiri is special, because she’s the only one out of the 66 options whose marriage requirements are directly tied to events in a major quest, not just finishing a questline and magically being smitten with the player. No, for Muiri, you actually have to talk with her and kill someone for her. This person being her ex-boyfriend who slandered her and took advantage of her. The interesting part here is that if you just kill her boyfriend, that’s not enough to make you be able to marry her, you actually have to kill another person, an old childhood friend, in order to win her affection.
Now this is actually something that’s set up to make the player think. Is it right to slaughter two people in order to help a girl recover her trauma? One is without a doubt an evil bastard, but the childhood friend acted out because she was misguided and griefstricken. This also has another consequence, if the childhood friend is killed, then her mother commits suicide shortly after and her father becomes an even more depressed alcoholic. See? This is actually a choice with some depth behind it. It also makes sense for Muiri as a character, she’s been broken and betrayed, forced to leave her home, and now she finally sees a way out. She may be misguided, but we’ve likley all been in situations where we acted instinctively and it ended up not really bettering our currect situation. It’s called short-sightedness for a reason. After killing her ex, and putting her mind at ease, she explicitly says “Here, as a token of my affection”. Now yes, this is basically an evil or maybe even very evil karma choice to destroy a family and basically become the new Alain Dufont that can manipulate an even more broken Muiri, but you make that choice. And you’re not expected to do so, it’s an optional choice. You also didn’t just give a gold coin to Muiri to make her fall in love with you. And that brings me to the final point I want to make. Skyrim’s marriage system should never have been made the way it is. They should’ve gone with dedicated romance options, and I know, hindsight is 20/20, but they have some interesting setups, they just wasted most of them by tying them to the generic disposition system.
Let’s just forget how bland and pointless marriage is, or that not every race and sex is represented, or that Skyrim’s marriage just flies in the face of how Oblivion’s lore established it, just do something interesting with the characters! Morrowind had a dedicated girlfriend character, and while it wasn’t anything all that deep, it was WAY more meaningful, than what most of Skyrim tries to pass off as a romance. Scrap Sorex Vinius, Ysolda and Viola Giordano, and give a chance to a character that you already established as actually looking for courtship. For example, the Blue Palace servant Erdi. She actually longs for romance, but she seems to have a warped view of the world. Maybe you could become her hero and take her away, but make her realize it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Maybe she doesn’t enjoy living in Skyrim’s biggest house because it’s still in Solitude, making the Hearthfire DLC a bit more meaningful because you could actually build her dream castle. Maybe it’s her first time not having to think about procuring essential goods for herself, get a bit of a social commentary going, or just… something other than mass-used geenric lines that take over the character of our NPCs.
One of the people I always wanted as a wife was Svana Far-Shield, she’s an actual well-developed character with depth. The only problem is, her depth only exists in lore and nothing you do in-game has any effect on her, which doesn’t make sense. She’s in love with Sibbi Black-Briar, but Sibbi was in love with another woman. When this woman found Svana’s love poetry, her brother went to talk to Sibbi, only to be killed, which caused the woman to go into hiding. In the final game, Sibbi asks you to find this woman and kill her, which you can do, or you can keep her identity a secret. Whatever you do, it doesn’t have any effect on Svana, who also played a big role in this conflict. It’s also heavily hinted that Sibbi doesn’t actually care about Svana. So maybe it would’ve been nice to get an option to tell Svana this in order to reconsider her feelings. Feeling betrayed and already in a bad situation, maybe you could get another quest to take her away from her miserable life. Or take Angrenor Once-Honored, the beggar that I previously mentioned. While his romance is handled in a stupid way in the final game, it doesn’t have to be. Maybe he can follow the player through Windhelm if you decide to give him money and actually listen to his story, making him gradually feel interested in you. Turning a beggar into your lover is not necessarily a bad idea, but you have to put some effort into it. And that’s what plagues these marriage options and the system as a whole. Your unique characters turn into generic dialogue-dispensers upon marriage. Instead of going for the most available options, why not try the best options?
